(2 minute read)
Our blog title could easily be a line from cartoon sitcom, The Simpson’s, as Bart, Lisa, and Maggie endure a road-trip with their parents to some hyped-up holiday destination, only to be thoroughly disappointed that the reality didn’t meet with their expectations.
There is a sinister trap that awaits those of us who believe that the arrival at a set destination, or the accomplishment of an ambitious goal, will fulfill us.
Despite two Masters wins, and preparing for the British Masters (spoiler alert, he wins) and a PGA Championship before turning 30, Scottie Scheffler was honest as to what he finds ‘empty’ about reaching the pinnacle of his sport in a recent press conference.
“This is not fulfilling,” Scheffler said.
”It’s fulfilling from the sense of accomplishment but not fulfilling from a sense of the deepest places of your heart,” he went on. “It feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for like a few minutes… It only lasts a few minutes.”
What Scheffler was articulating is a phenomenon known as ‘the arrival fallacy’.
It stems from a commonly held belief that, “If I just accomplish _____, then I’ll have arrived.”
According to Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness (The Growth Equation), “the rude awakening is, there is no arriving! The sooner you realise this, the better.”
While this has proven true for Scottie Scheffler – the current world #1 in professional men’s golf – it holds true for others striving for a significant goal.
Stulberg & Magness highlight the following warning to those of us expecting to see certain achievements become the turning point in our careers (or lives); “Win a gold medal, and you are on the podium for 3 minutes, and celebrate for a few weeks. Get a big promotion, you feel good about it for a day or two before it’s time to work again. Hit the New York Times bestseller list, you toast to your success, maybe even frame it and put it on the wall. But staring at a cut-out from a newspaper eventually gets boring.”
So, how can we prepare for the rollercoaster of emotions which can be associated with eventually ‘making it’?
Stulberg & Magness’ advice is a great starting point. “Becoming aware of the arrival fallacy shouldn’t be a downer. It can be supremely freeing! You no longer expect accomplishment or achievement to fulfill you. Instead, you start doing everything you can to find happiness, fulfillment, and energy in the process of pursuing your goals rather than having false expectations about what will happen when you do (or don’t) attain them.”