(2 minute read)
How many times have you heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters.”
In addition to the effective use of ‘Body Language’, we each have additional aspects of speech that can convey attitudes and emotional states, independent of any linguistic (word-centric) elements. These can include intonation patterns, inflection, stress, intensity, and melody.
Paralanguage refers to the non-verbal – yet vocal – aspects of speech, focusing on ‘how’ something is said rather than ‘what’ is said. It includes elements of pitch, volume, intonation, speech tempo, pauses, as well as non-linguistic sounds (e.g., sighs or hesitations) that modify the meaning of words, convey emotion, or communicate attitudes.
Key Components of Paralanguage
- Pitch:
The ‘peaks and troughs’ within your voice pattern can indicate excitement, or sadness.
- Volume:
While speaking louder can convey confidence, conviction, or excitement, a quieter or softer voice might suggest calm or thoughtful consideration.
- Intonation and Stress:
The rise and fall of our voice, and any emphasis placed on specific words, can change the entire meaning or impact of a sentence or statement.
- Pauses and Hesitations:
While a deliberate pause can help emphasise a message, the use of inappropriate (incorrectly placed) pause-filling words (e.g., um or ah) sounds can signal a lack of certainty or confidence.
Why Paralanguage Matters
- Communicates Emotion:
Paralanguage helps to express a wide range of emotions, like joy, anger, confusion, anxiety, or excitement.
- Modifying Meaning:
Paralanguage can clarify the speaker’s intent, making the difference between a literal statement and a figurative one.
- Unconscious Revelations:
Paralinguistic cues can sometimes betray a speaker’s true feelings or intentions, even when they try to conceal them.
As we’re reminded by Vanessa Van Edwards in her breakthrough book, ‘Cues – Small Signals, Incredible Impact’; “The human voice can not only tell you where someone is from, but what they are like. It’s as unique as our fingerprint”.